Homesickness pt. 1

In October 2002, I left Berlin. I went, what my family calls "home." I left Berlin under duress. I had been looking for work for quite some time after the re-organization of the company I had worked for a year earlier without much luck. I tried to be as optimistic as I quite possibly could but ultimately I succumb to the stress. I opted to leave the city for a while. This decision was precipitated also by the fact that I had a physical altercation with the obsessive type I was dating at the time. 

While I was away, I had never felt the kind of homesickness like I had never felt before. Never for Charlotte when I went to school in Raleigh. Never for Raleigh when I moved to Morrisville, AND never for any of these places when I left for Berlin.

The only thing I could think about was how much I wanted to get back to the city despite my much needed break. Desperately, I made sure I kept in touch with my friends and acquaintances. Maybe more than I had when I was there.

Being plopped down at my parents' on the outskirts of York, South Carolina, I missed being able to take the U-Bahh, S-Bahn or trams to all parts of the city. I missed all the people on the street that I had become used to seeing everyday; at the bakery, at the supermarket, in my German course. In York I felt isolated. I tried to make the best of it even after breaking down in tears exclaiming "I want to go home!" during a conversation with my mother.

Later when I moved to Rock Hill to replenish my bank account for my return, I imagined my walk to work to be my walk to school in Berlin. Down Lychener Straße, across Schönhauser Allee and down the hill on Kastanienallee to Rosenthaler Platz, and on to Linienstraße.

I ultimately did return to Berlin, a year after my departure. Nine months longer than I had intended to be away. Berlin was the only place where I have felt totally at sync with. From the first day I arrived. The city I returned to was not the city I left, but I was home nonetheless.

[image: Schönhauser Allee, U-Bahnhof Eberswalder Straße looking towards Alexanderplatz, Berlin February 2001

Courtesy of the blogger.]